Our Olympians

As I watch the Olympic Games and relish in the parents’ joy of the success of their offspring, I am reminded that a parent does not have to have an Olympic athletic to relish in their child’s success.

I do not have Olympic athletics as children. In fact, my children excelled in lacrosse and horse back riding but won little for their performances. What they did win was love of the sport, love of the team members and love of the coaches.  Butler excelled in swimming and lacrosse and Elaine was an excellent horse back rider. That said, was I proud of their accomplishments? Yes and continue to be more proud of their work ethic and the lessons they learned from being a team member.

There is more to winning. It is the team spirit, the love of the sport and the willingness to give all you have. It is about self-discipline, perseverance, and humility. I know you are thinking that humility is not part of winning but I think humility is a great part of sports. It is realizing what we need help with and ask for that assistance. I need your help. Four great words in the English language.

Butler and Elaine never went to the Olympics with their sports and learned much from the sports they participated in. They have a great work ethic, can communicate with others, are empathic, understand delayed gratification, know to learn from failure and move on, accept their flaws, and know how to face the consequences when they have done something wrong.

Think my children have won the gold medal in life. Congrats to Butler and Elaine.

 

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

Good People In This World

Last night Jim, my husband, and I attended an event for EARS, a nonprofit for rescue animals. We arrived with towels and detergent for baths for the animals and purchased dinner at Hopdaddy’s  who is giving back 1 percent of all purchases made in the month of August. As I looked around I saw many caring people from Dallas who want to give back and make a difference in this world. The teen who organized this event is the daughter of a friend and neighbor of ours. She could be out partying and playing with her friend this summer (and I am sure she does some of this) and she is also giving her time and attention to philanthropic events. Thank you, Kate.

It is 105 degrees today in Dallas. The heat is unbearable and some of the less fortunate are having a difficult time with no air conditioning and poor living conditions. Our neighbors and friends down the street work weekly with Meals on Wheels. Mom, daughter, and son deliver meals weekly and due to the heat are also delivering air conditions and checking on the shut ins to be sure they are ok.

I am proud of Dallas and the heart and caring you find here. It is not just Dallas. Good people can be found around the world when you look. We see so much negative in the news and I am here to say look for the good and give thanks.

Go out today and make a difference. It only takes a little love, compassion, and knowing we are here to be there for others.

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

Pad Yatra: A Green Odyssey

If you want to learn more about Pad Yatra: A Green Odyssey, check out he trailer at: padyatrafilm.com

You can also follow it on Facebook and find out with it will be playing near you: https://www.facebook.com/padyatrafilm

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

Thank you to THANK YOU notes

Laura, our next door neighbor, is graduating high school and headed to Boston University this Fall. We have watched her grow up. I remember her on a tricycle in her ballet, Superwoman or her Hello Kitty outfit. We have applauded her successes, shared in her disappointments, and laughed and cried with her parents during her teen adventures.

On Friday, I walked over to deliver her graduation gift (one thing I love about our neighborhood: I walked over), opened the door, and entered with my sing song “hey it is me.” You see we all have dogs in this neighborhood, and they only allow trusted neighbors in. So Ginger, their dog, invited me in, and I left her gift on the dining room table.

I was out early this morning for a walk with our dogs and saw Laura leaving for school. She greeted me and said, “Thank for the thoughtful gift and know your thank you note is written and will be in the mail today or tomorrow.” As they say in the South, “she has been raised right.” Thank you notes are a thing of the past, and I find that sad. It is not the note but the thought and the effort to write the note. The thought that I appreciate you, you are an important part of my life, and I appreciate your thoughts and efforts to recognize me. A mass email could express the same sentiments, but I still prefer that hand written note. Call me old fashion, but there is something to that individual, hand written note that makes such a statement.

Writing a thank you note, throwing a neighbor’s paper up on the porch, asking the check-out clerk how their day is going, stopping to check on a shut-in, helping a friend pack for a move, listening to a friend who is having a challenging time or giving a hug to someone that needs a hug is what is important. If you are having a bad day, your day will be better by doing one or some of the above. It is about getting out of self and giving and loving others. It is saying thank you and I do appreciate you. In making another’s day better we make our day better. There is something to be said about self-forgetfulness and giving to others.

Go out and make someone’s day better. I have found they seem to pass it along.

THANK YOU.

 

 

 

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

MOTHER’S DAY

I love being a Mom. I love both of our children. Butler and Elaine are a true gift and a joy in my life. That said, being a Mom was not always easy. When Butler and Elaine were little, I would be in the grocery store with them and wonder if I could survive. Butler would be reading all the labels and looking for the expiration dates. His lectures made a lot of sense, but being lectured by a eight year old was so irritating. Elaine would be holding her pet praying mantis and scaring fellow shoppers when they asked what she was holding. She would then introduce them to “Manny.” Each child would also have numerous meltdowns when they asked for “bought cookies,” and I would attempt to explain to them that I made Homemade cookies. They thought this to be neglectful. Why have homemade oatmeal cookies when we could just buy Oreos?

Then the teen years hit, and their two year old “no” became the teen “know.” “Mom, just leave me alone I KNOW what to do,” he would exclaim while putting the empty milk carton back into the refrigerator. “Mom, just leave me alone I KNOW what to do,” Elaine would say as the rain fell through her open sun roof, ruining all her school books.

When young parents are told: “this is the best time of your life,” don’t believe them. It is tough, challenging, and lots of patience is needed. You will get through it and then find the best time of your life. That time comes as you see your children become the adults that you have worked so hard to teach them to be. You have taught them how to leave you and go out in the real world making this world a better place. They become your friend, advocate, confident, and advisor. You look at them and find the same joy you had as you first held them when they were born.

Ok, so maybe all stages of parenting are joyful and challenging, delightful, and frustrating, and being a Mom is the greatest gift I have ever been given.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

Well, the big day is approaching. Valentine’s Day is this week and what do you have planned for the big day? Are we suppose to declare our love, show our love, or just go along with the advertisement of this big day?

I think everyday should be Valentine’s Day. Why just show our love on one day and not on everyday? It is everyday that we tell and show others how we love and appreciate them. It is everyday we collaborate, sacrifice, extend ourselves and set boundaries with those we love. It is everyday we make a decision to love others as we want to be loved. It is everyday we look at those we love and ask, “what is needed to help you become the person you want to become?” It is everyday we love better than to be loved and know we are worth love. It is everyday to show others they count and we are there for them. It is everyday we can overlook the imperfections of others because we know we have our own imperfections to be overlooked.

I have been married for 40 years and that is a blessing. Jim has accepted me for who I am and that has been a challenge. I have accepted him for who he is and that has been a joy. He is much easier to get along with than me. I am a real “firecracker” and instead of attempting to change me he has accepted it.

We have two grown children and each are soooo different. We love them for who they are and accept them and encourage them to be who they are. Love is about accepting, encouraging, and understanding others. Walking in their shoes and loving the journey. Proud parents know their offspring have become the person they need to be not the person you want them to be. That said—-our children have not only met our expectations but have exceeded it. Glad I did not stand in their way but gave them the wings to be the great people they are.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Go love others as you want to be loved and pass that love along.

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

Give Them Their Wings

Well, the Super Bowl is over. I am thrilled the Ravens won. Loved Beyonce’s performance, the game, the brothers coaching against one another and the coverage of a great city (New Orleans). The most exciting point was when the lights went out. Who would have thought that would happened? I expected a wardrobe malfunction but thought they would have checked all the bulbs before the game. I understand that a 34 minute blackout is not expected during the Super Bowl but if you have ever visited and partied in that city a 34 minute blackout is not unusual. In fact, that might be the shortest blackout most of us have experienced after our good times in NOLA.

The best text we recieved when the lights went out was from our daughter, Elaine, who lives in New Orleans. She wrote, “Guess they forgot to pay their Entergy bill.”

Michael Oher, a player on the Ravens, made his mark on the movie, The Blindside. Great movie and touched my heart. I am an Ole Miss graduate and Michael played at Ole Miss then picked up by the Ravens. He was adopted by the Tuohy’s, a white family in Memphis, and raised as their own. Not typical for the deep South. Beautiful story and even more beautiful when I read what Leigh Anne Tuohy, Michael’s adoptive Mother, said after the Raven’s win Sunday night. She said, “Michael had the feet, the hands, the heart and the head. We just gave him the wings.” Beautiful!!!!!

Isn’t that what each parent needs to do? Help your child (adoptive or biological) find what they love and live a life to show it. Help them know who they are and what they can become. Love them for who they are and be their greatest advocate and supporter. Challenge them, love them and know you are blessed to have them in your life.

Give your child a hug and tell them that you have full confidence in them that they can become who they want to be.

 

 

 

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

I Joined Twitter and Why?

Itsmomcalling now has a twitter account and I am finding it fascinating. Talk about “staying in touch” and knowing what is going on in the world! I can cancel my NYT newspaper subscription and give up watching Extra because all the world news and celebrity gossip is now at my finger tips. I know you must be thinking that information has been available for some time now on the web but twitter is so much more fun.

The one television program I will not give up is Hoda and Kathie Lee. As I said in my last blog, those two ladies make my day (or night if I have recorded it). Yes, I record Hoda and Kathie Lee. I follow them on Twitter but you can not catch the energy, sheer joy and relaxed fun when reading them on twitter like you see on their show.  My parenting book, RELAX (The Guide for Parenting Teens), is my attempt to encourage and guide parents into the sheer joy of life I see from Hoda and Kathie Lee. Parents have become so fearful that they are passing that fear on to their children rather than modeling how to enjoy life, each other and pass that joy along. Maybe I will make an addition to my book. I will suggest watching Hoda and Kathie Lee on NBC. Now that is a model for RELAX and not taking yourself too seriously.

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

“You Inform Others How To Treat You.”

Just received a phone call from a dear friend who is having difficulty with a coworker. She is brilliant but has forgotten how to inform others how to treat her. We all do this at some time or another.

First: The most important two words to remember is, “Stop It”. We inform others how to treat us.

Second: When someone repeatedly shows you who they are, believe them. They are not kidding. YOU choose how much you interact with others. When someone is not safe—stay away. Set the limits and time you spend with them. We inform others how to treat us.

Third: Boundaries are your responsibility. Setting boundaries with others is necessary for your mental and physical health. “I am not willing to be around you when you speak to me like that.”  Walk away. We inform others how to treat us.

Fourth: We cannot change others. The only control we have is the control we have over our behaviors. The most pain caused in the world is attempting to change others. Change your behavior by setting limits, boundaries and deciding when a relationship is toxic or not safe. We inform others how to treat us.

Fifth: Family relationships can be difficult. Love the person and accept the fact you do not approve of their behavior. “I love you and hate what you are doing.” We inform others how to treat us.

Sixth: Forgive those that have offended you. Why? Forgiveness is for you, not the person you have forgiven. Forgiveness sets YOU free from that person. You move forward leaving them behind to deal with what they have to deal with. Resentment is the acid that eats its own container. Forgive and move on. Will you forget? No. You have learned a lesson and you forgive so you can move forward. We inform others how to treat us.

I want to write funny, entertaining blogs. This is not one and a blog I thought I needed to write.

Love others where they are and you do not have to stay where they are.

Relationships are difficult and we work on our relationships with others ever minute of the day. Love yourself so you can love others and set boundaries when needed.

I will post something funny next time.

 

 

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well, I can’t tell a “lick of difference”, (a family inside joke), when the ball drops and we enter a new year. I wear the same pj’s to bed, I tuck the dogs in, I say my prayers and I hope I can sleep through the night and do not snore and keep Jim awake. Yes, I snore. I awake to prepare breakfast, feed the dogs, Jim makes the bed and I start the day as I did in 2012. I did turn the calendar to January, turned on the Rose Bowl Parade so I guess that is different. I usually turn to NBC so I do not miss Hoda and Kathy Lee and see what they will be drinking on a Tuesday morning. What a gig those ladies have. They visit with celebrities, laugh, and drink and never appear drunk but loopy enough to be entertaining.

I do not make New Year resolutions simply because it is too much pressure. I am hard enough on myself without adding more. Elaine informed me over the holidays that I was too hard on myself and that I am going to work on in 2013. It is not a resolution but valuable information I have gathered for a loving, intelligent, caring daughter whose insight I value. Maybe that is where I am going with this rambling blog. Lessons learned in 2012, I plan to implement. Look at the past but don’t stare. Get your lessons and move on to make this world a better place. When we live in the past we live in regret. When we live in the future we live in anxiety. When we live in the present we live in His presence and the presence is all we have control over.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! Live each day making someone’s else day a little better.

Posted in Blog | Leave a comment